Today is a day that will live in infamy

Today was a pretty dull day. We went on a walk at the local park which smelled like a recently deceased corpse was rotting near by. I searched and I searched and could not find said corpse however the putrid stench of death remained and it sort of smelled like my recycling bins which are now full of Taco Bell leftovers which must have been added last night along with other things that cannot be recycled. I am tempted to set the recycle bins out on the lawn to be collected by the recycle truck, whom will probably not take the “recyclables” because 95% of the material in them cannot be recycled because they are pillows and half eaten food along with styrofoam.

This afternoon the Mrs. and I took a nap because we were up until 4AM because my wife is an insomniac. We were very tired in the afternoon after we woke up and had some breakfast. She would not let me sleep until she fell asleep.  My cat who shall be referred to as the dingleberry would not leave us alone. He keeps being bad and scratching at the furniture with his non-existent claws. He also will whine loudly with his high pitched voice which is more high pitched than my voice believe it or not. He will meow at me because he wants his senior food because he is an old man and eats Purina One Vibrant Maturity 7+, he is 8. He is also addicted to steroids which are supplied to him from his veterinarian, he does not like to take his steroids and likes to spit them out at me which pisses me off! However Professor S the Magnificent can administer his medication without any retaliation. This also pisses me off because I need assistance from the Mrs. to give him his pills because he such a bad little kitty. Plus he lays around the house all day pretending to be dead but he isn’t dead he is just hot because we do not have air conditioning until we move in 3 weeks then he probably will stop pretending to be dead but he might not because he is a bastard but I love him anyway.

It is so hot in my house that I cannot wear pants, this is insane. We have no air conditioning and it was like 85 degrees but the weather channel said that it felt like 90 whatever that means. It is like an oven in here, my skin feels like it is about to boil off and look like a bucket of KFC chicken.  I also need the Mrs. to shave my back, I am approaching 30 and have noticed that I am starting to develop hair in places in which I formerly did not have hair and it is starting to disturb me greatly. They do not tell you about these things in school, I think they should. I also have started growing hair in my ears as well and it doesn’t even help me hear any better, I thought it would be cool if it worked like an antenna and I could pick up radio stations but it doesn’t do anything! What a bunch of crap. Getting old is not very fun, just ask my stretch marks.

One comment on “Today is a day that will live in infamy

  1. Every time I check the weather I also wonder who gets to decide what the temp “feels like”. Btw the photos of the recycle bins and the embedded toothbrush are pretty disgusting. You have my sympathy.

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