I have not posted for the last 3 days because I have been incapacitated by the flu, which I am not 169% sure is a conspiracy. How is the flu a conspiracy you ask? You have no idea what can of worms you have just opened by asking that question that I just asked and am assuming that you are asking me. Yes, I also realize how little grammatical sense that last sentence made.
Here is some news that is going to totally blow your mind:
Every year that I have gotten the flu shot, I have gotten the flu. Every year that I haven’t gotten the flu vaccine, I have not gotten the flu. Now, I am not saying that the flu shot gave me the flu directly, I am saying that it made me more susceptible to the flu virus. Two months ago I went to CVS to get my flu shot. I have been fie since then, but I have recently come in contact with people who had flu like symptoms (they had also had the “flu shot”). For the last 3 days I have been sick with the flu, but here is where it starts to get freaky; I went to CVS twice to buy flu medicine, I also bought the CVS brand because it was a dollar cheaper than the Tylenol brand stuff but then I remember I paid to get my flu shot at CVS!!! I am pretty sure that if I had not gone to CVS and gotten a flu shot this year that I would not have been sick the last 3 days.
It is all a conspiracy with the FDA, pharmacies, and doctors to screw you and me out of money. Honestly, why do you need a flu vaccine every year? Why can’t the CDC create a super vaccine to wipe out the flu like they have with polio and smallpox? If you can totally eradicate complex deadly diseases, you can create one that will kill every strand of the flu. I know what you’re going to say: “There is a different strand of the flu out every year, that’s why you have to get vaccinated every year” Bullshit. In the immortal words of Judge Judith Sheindlin: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining”.