Don’t Cross The Streams, Bro

Today I went to work since I have a job now, that’s right I’m getting the moneys, bitches. I was outdoors all day long and I didn’t even have to pee once since it was so cold. Speaking of cold, I had to wear 4 pairs of socks just to keep my feet from getting frost-bite. Since I live in Ohio it snowed 6 inches yesterday, was below 30 degrees and it is going to 50 on Friday.

Speaking of snow, people in Ohio are stupid and cannot drive when there is snow on the road. Before it even started snowing heavily and there was only a centimeter of snow on the road, people were driving like fuck-asses and driving all slow. There seriously wasn’t enough snow on the ground to constitute checking your brakes every 5 seconds and doing 15 miles an hour in a 35 mph zone. Some of us have important things to do and can’t get stuck behind slow-ass drivers who don’t know how to drive on a road that is mildly kissed with snow. At least now that I live in a different location from last year, I can successfully drive out of the parking lot after a large snow without the help of a snow shovel and 5 people helping me push. The last place that I lived would plow the snow directly behind my car causing it to be completely immobilized, as well as anyone else who did not have 4 wheel drive. That was on the fortunate days that they actually bothered to plow the parking lot where there would be 2-8 cars stuck in the parking lot and blocking in my car which I wouldn’t have been able to get out anyway. I know that most of the “people” who lived there were bros, and it takes about 8 bros to count as an actual human being so nobody cared about whether or not they could get out of the driveway. It would probably improve the planet if the bros were all stuck inside the entire winter and froze to death. I could have survived by eating their carcasses which would have had to be cleansed of fake tanning spray and massive amounts of hair gel.

Bros do not know how to drive in the snow, mainly because they are lesser human beings, many who come from other states such as California, and don’t know how to drive in snow because they are idiots and appear to think that snow is some kind of magical white dust that falls from the sky. They do however enjoy peeing in the snow, sometimes in groups, but they have to remember the cardinal rule: “don’t cross the streams”.

2 comments on “Don’t Cross The Streams, Bro

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