Nut Crackers Taste Like Pork Rinds

The Mrs. has been on a gluten-free diet, so inadvertently I am also on a semi-gluten-free diet because we have no foods containing gluten in the house. However, I have been getting gluten from outside sources so I haven’t been completely gluten-free. She has been eating crackers that are made out of almonds, I decided to try one of them today and to my surprise it tasted nothing like a nut or a cracker, it tasted like pork rinds! Which is weird yet kind of awesome at the same time.

They should just label these at Pork Rind flavored crackers. I think that would be good for business.

 

In other news: I went swimming for the first time this year. I have a swimming pool at my apartment complex that I haven’t used until yesterday, however I was a bit perplexed when I put on my bathing suit. It was skin tight and the butt was all worn out on it, I’m not sure if I just gained a bunch of weight since last year, or if I shrunk it, or both. Probably a little bit of both, but I wore it to the pool anyway along with my back which hadn’t been shaved in a few months, so I was definitely a sight to see. Oddly enough, I have no idea why I had a size medium swim suit since I know I wasn’t a size medium last year, anyway I threw it in the dumpster that Mr. Rabies inhabits so now he can wear it to go swimming. Then I went to Target and bought a pair of size XL swim trunks then came home and had the Mrs. shave my back so maybe now I won’t cause blindness when I get into the pull next time.

The Mrs. also got me a reward jar to help manage my ADD. Every time I do something that I’m supposed to do without being asked 5,000 times I put a marble in the jar, then after I get 50 marbles I get a reward of my choosing. Finally, years of procrastination and laziness have payed off! I also decorated the jar with Spider-Man stickers so it looks like it belongs to a 5 year old, so that’s like awesome or really dorky, I’m not sure which.

Anyway…

4 comments on “Nut Crackers Taste Like Pork Rinds

  1. My boyfriend doesn’t have ADD, but he’s really lazy and hates helping me with things around the house, which kind of make me want to punch him in the the fucking kidney.That marble jar thing is a good idea. What do you win when you get to fifty? Just any random, awesome thing that you can think of?

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