4 Feet Of Cock

I finally got my Halloween costume for this year together. I am going to go as Dildo Baggins, which basically means I am dressing up like Bilbo Baggins from Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit but with a bunch of fake penises all over my costume. It is going to be epic. Here is a picture of all of my dildos that I have gotten for this costume, I also have some hobbit looking clothes that I got from a thrift store along with a long brown hooded cape.

Here are my dildos that measure over 4 feet, which I am keeping under my bed in the Mrs’s shoe container. The dildos are named Purple Passion, Mocha, Meaty Mike, and Grape Jelly. Yes, I gave each of them names.

 

The Mrs. also ordered me some Katzen Zungen which I have been obsessed with for months. It is a German chocolate that is supposed to look like cat’s tongues, it’s name translates into “cat’s tongues” in English.

They are 100% chocolate and don’t contain any cat, disappointingly.

 

They are delicious however, although I am pretty sure that cat tongues are not double sided. I find it kind of humorous that my candy is double sided like 2 of my dildos. Now that I think about it, a double sided cat tongue is a little disturbing and bordering bestiality. Yum, delicious bestiality.

I received an odd piece of mail today, it was a Republican political advertisement, which I have no idea why they are sending me things. But anyway, it is pretty hilarious:

 

So, somehow President Obama’s spending 4 billion dollars a day and also has time to chase small children with locomotives, what an asshole! Most unintentionally hilarious and ineffective political advertisement ever. Obama is also going to be nearby on Wednesday, he is visiting Kent State, I haven’t heard if he is going to be driving a train there or not though, but I must alert the townsfolk to lock up their children.

In other news, the dingleberry has a renewed obsession with the laser pointer. All we have to do is go near the thing and he freaks out and starts cackling at it like a deranged chipmunk. The Mrs. also grabbed this picture of him while he was sitting on her earlier today and he looks totally deranged.

Give me your Katzen Zungen or die!!!

One comment on “4 Feet Of Cock

  1. Obama chasing children with a train; that’s a new one. Next thing we know he’ll be spending millions on double-sided cat tongues and dildos.

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