It has been awhile since I’ve posted about bizarre and disturbing sex toys. Apparently they have come out with some new ones which are even more fucked up. So here is a new list of some of the most bizarre and disturbing sex toys that are available to purchase.
Cosmic Bear Glow In The Dark Lubricant
This one is actually kind of cool since it glows in the dark. But it’s bizarre because it comes in a honey container. Plus I needed a safe for work picture to insert on facebook.
The Magic Ball
If you can’t tell from the picture, it’s an exercise ball with a dildo attached to it. If I were a female this might make me actually enjoy exercising, but since I am not I experienced phantom pains in my rectum speculating how a male would use this thing.
It’s a vibrator shaped like an ear of corn. It also kind of looks like a lightsaber made out of corn. Not sure why anyone would want to stick a plastic ear of corn in their vagina. I kind of want to buy 2 of these and have a Corn Wars battle with them, except I won’t because they are vibrators.
It is 4 pussies and a pair of tits that is kind of shaped like a flower and something out of HP Lovecrafts nightmares. And you can have sex with it if you are able to maintain an erection in the presence of this hideous piece of latex.
Whatever This Thing Is
It is a human figure shaped like a penis, it vibrates, and it has a hole in it. And it is creepy as hell. I can’t even tell if it is for men or women or both. Not sure why anyone would ever buy it.
Why would anyone want a scarred up fake vagina in a can that is shaped like a corkscrew on the inside? I can’t even think of a reason why this would exist.
Hand Sex Toy With A Vagina In The Middle Of It
I posted a fuckable foot before. Now they have a fuckable hand to go with it. This is just creepy. If you own this thing you need to be on a list somewhere and not be allowed around other people ever.
A Log With A Vagina In It
This reminds me of the log toy from Ren & Stimpy combined with my worst nightmares. Maybe if you are a lumberjack or an axe murderer you would find this appealing.
This is apparently for all the Japanese Tentacle Rape Porn enthusiasts out there.
It is an exact replica of a wallaby’s penis. Just in case, you know, you ever wanted to have sex with a wallaby but couldn’t get the zookeeper to help you out. Or maybe you just dislike human penises or something. I am completely baffled how a wallaby has intercourse now. I am intrigued to find out what a wallaby vagina looks like but am too scared to look into it. Okay, I looked into it and it’s horrifying. Don’t Google it! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!
Hello Kitty Vibrator
The only disturbing thing is that it is officially licensed and manufactured by Hello Kitty.
Sex Toy For Dogs
It’s a sex toy for your dog to hump. Plus thanks to the illustration you can wash your dogs semen out of it in the convenience of your own bathroom sink after he defiles it.
Love Making Jesus Inflatable Love Doll
I have no idea if this is real or not but this is the most amazingly offensive thing I have ever seen.