This Has To Be The Worst Designed Toy Ever

This is a Marvel Comics Punisher toy. The Punisher is more of a psychotic serial killer than a superhero so I’m not really sure why they make toys of him, plus all of the Punisher movies have been terrible. This toy just doesn’t make any sense. It is a Punisher action figure that transforms into a gun. He isn’t a robot, he doesn’t have any superpowers he is just a man that kills  people with guns. I don’t understand why this toy transforms into a gun. I don’t know why the barrel of the gun looks like a giant penis and is located in his crotch. Plus when you transform him into a gun the barrel is aiming out of his ass and he doesn’t even resemble a gun, there is just so much wrong with this toy.

 

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And here is a video review someone did of this toy, which is pretty hilarious. 

There Is A Sex Themed Restaurant In Taiwan

Taiwan just opened this restaurant which is supposed to be an educational restaurant that educates people about the sizes of penises and breasts around the world. It also has blow up dolls laying around that people can play with. There are also miniatures that explain how to engage in a threesome.

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They also serve penis pudding, I don’t know what is surrounding it but I don’t think they intended it to look like bloody diarrhea

 

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They also have creepy breast-shaped bowls. However, shouldn’t all the bowls be ridiculous? They have this giant breast shaped bowl and then they just have a couple of plain bowls accompanying it. That’s just lazy.

 

This video is amazing though.

 

You can read more about the restaurant here. 

Somebody In Michigan Has Been Pooping On Playground Slides For Months

For six months somebody has been pooping on playground slides in Michigan. The pooper always strikes at night and poops on various playground slides. They have started putting up cameras to catch the pooper along with billboards for people to be on the lookout for him or her. The billboard signs are hilarious by the way.

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I can only imagine how many kids have gone on one of these slides and slid right into a giant steaming pile of shit. It is equal parts awful and hilarious.

Here is the link to the whole story. 

Why Are Car Commercials So Annoying

I have to say that there is nothing more annoying than radio commercials. Every day that I drive to work there’s usually only talk radio on in the morning. I have to listen to a classic rock station that plays a lot of oldies just to be able listen to music on the radio in the morning. The worst part is, there are like 5 to 7 minute long commercial breaks thrown in at least twice during a 30 minute drive. I swear radio commercial breaks have been getting longer and longer. And at least half of the commercial break is fucking car commercials. I don’t know when it was decided that all car commercials had to be as loud and as annoying as humanly possible, but at some point it became a rule. And every new commercial that comes out is louder and more awful than the ones before them. It is even worse when they try to rhyme as much as possible and throw in things about popular culture like giving their sales associates Lord of the Rings nicknames.

Here is a TV ad for one of my local places that has the worst ads. Their TV ads are even worse than the radio ones. This one features people in bird costumes because the “early bird gets the worm”. Get it? Ugh..

My Rant On The Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny is the creepiest mythological holiday creature. He is a giant bunny that gives eggs filled with candy to children on Easter. That doesn’t even make sense, if he is delivering eggs, he should be something that lays eggs like a chicken, a fish, or a frog. That would be kind of cool. Plus he breaks into your house and gives kids candy. Why is he giving them candy? To lore them into the bunny hole so he can molest them? Plus all the Easter Bunnies at the mall are creepy.

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Bunnies are cute, the Easter Bunny is a giant man-rabbit hybrid that looks like a Yeti with floppy ears. Yeti’s eat children, they don’t bring them baskets of candy and toys. The Easter Bunny also brings children less toys than they get on their birthday and Christmas, unless they’re rich, because the Easter Bunny is a stingy asshole. Plus you have to leave decorated colored eggs for him or else he will take your eldest born children or something because of Passover.

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The Easter Bunny is basically a giant dick, and he might be Satan. Satan should be the Mythological Holiday Creature for Easter, or Zombie Jesus. Both are still less creepy.

 

Today is also Good Friday. I don’t understand why it’s called Good Friday because it is supposed to be the day that Jesus was crucified. I thought killing Jesus was supposed to be a bad thing. Shouldn’t it be called Bad Friday?

WTF I Don’t Even Understand These

The Mrs. found this product on pinterest and it just baffles me. I don’t even understand how they work or how somebody would wear these things. It is one sided underwear from a brand named JQK. I have tried to find some information on how these work and how you wear them but haven’t been able to find any. It just looks really uncomfortable. Plus it looks like it straps directly through your asscheeks and around your junk. Plus every picture of the same dude with a brown Vanilla Ice hairdo showing a little bit of pube stubble while posing awkwardly. Apparently he is the only model that understands how to put these on. They look godawful but they also cost less than $7 a piece, and on ebay if you buy 2 you get 5%. I am just disturbed by this.

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I Want To Put On Fuzzy Penis Slippers And Eat Chicken Pizza Crust

My 7 year wedding anniversary is coming up in less than a month and I have been trying to figure out what to get the Mrs. and what she is getting me, plus what to do for dinner.

It has come to my attention that Domino’s is making pizzas with chicken for crust instead of dough, so that means I’ve got our anniversary dinner covered.

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My only complaint is that they don’t really look like pizzas, it is like a foot long piece of chicken with cheese, marinara, and pizza toppings on it. They sound pretty tasty but they should be shaped like pizzas. I trust that they will figure it out eventually and this is just a test run.

Anyway, I totally hope that I am getting these slippers.

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They look super warm and comfortable and they let people know that you mean business. Nothing says “Im important” more than walking around your neighborhood with giant pink erect penis slippers with questionably placed and erratic pubic hair.

Costumes That Men Should Never Wear

There are some Halloween costumes that men should just never wear.

Unicorn Costumes
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Body Paint, especially nude body paint.

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Whatever the hell is going on here

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Male Blow Up Doll Costumes

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Turkey costumes are always disturbing.

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A Florist Is Is Selling KFC Chicken Corsages

There is a florist in Louisville, Kentucky that is selling corsages for $20 that contain a piece of KFC chicken for proms, and weddings, and stuff.  Seriously, it’s a corsage of baby’s breath flowers and a piece of chicken. You can also choose between Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, and Kentucky Grilled Chicken. I can’t tell if it is a joke or not. Here’s a link to the source with a video.  It is kind of a cool idea, but that is expensive for only one piece of chicken. They need to make a bouquet full of drumsticks.

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