I Got Some New Freeloading Cats Awhile Ago

If you may recall, The Dingleberry passed away in February. In June, The Mrs. and I bought a house and got 2 new freeloading cats. They have serious mental health issues.

blind cat, cute cat picture, fake russian blue

This is Linnea, she is mostly blind. She had an untreated eye disease at birth and has a membrane that scarred and covered her eyes. We had the vet remove the membrane but it grew back and she is still pretty blind. She is awesome even if she hits her head on things a lot. She also suckles The Mrs.’s lips like a nipple all the time. She won’t do it to me though because she apparently doesn’t like facial hair.

cute cat picture, cat carving pumpkins, obese cat eats entire pumpkin

This is Elena, she looks and acts just like a male orange tabby cat I used to own named Riley, except she sounds like a pterodactyl. She eats literally anything including electrical cords and phone chargers, just like Riley. Sadly, that is what led to his demise. Here is a picture of her when we were carving pumpkins, she ate the rest of the pumpkin.

incestual lesbians, cats grooming each other, hot lesbian action

They are sisters, they are from the same litter but they totally make out with each other all the time. They are incestual lesbians.

sleepy kittens, sleeping cats

They are lazy freeloaders. They lay around and sleep 80% of the day. I have narcolepsy and I don’t even sleep that much. They spend the rest of their time running around like coked up crack fiends wrestling and breaking things. They don’t even have any money to replace the things that they break, plus I have to clean up their poop.

cats in tutus, cute cat picture

Here they are in their Halloween costumes. We got them both a tutu because that is pretty much the only thing we could get on them without being clawed to death. I plan on taking them trick or treating and pretending like they are human babies dressed up in very realistic cat costumes so I can get some free candy. I hope my plan works. If it doesn’t I will have to go to the store and buy some candy November first when it is on clearance.

Miserable Cats In Costumes

I went out thrifting today and picked up an item that I just couldn’t resist. It was a devil costume for a dog or small cat, it was perfect for the Dingleberry. I made him wear it then took pictures of him and as you can see below he was totally thrilled.

He went completely limp after I put it on him and wouldn’t lift his head up because he was so miserable

He kept it on for several minutes before he got up and walked away, eventually walking out of the costume. He kept the horns on for awhile , surprisingly.

Here are some miserable cat pictures that I found on the internet for your enjoyment, because everyone likes funny cat pictures. Except for certain people, you know who you are and you are not welcome here.

I am going to eat your face after you die alone

You think it’s cute to put these ridiculous hats on me, I’m going to pee in your mouth while you’re sleeping

You are lucky these bombs are fake because I would totally go Jihad on your ass for making me wear this stupid thing.

Can’t tell if this Wilford Brimley cat is actually angry or if he always looks like that, I’m guessing both.

Another Easter Bunny Wilford Brimley cat, they are so cute. Especially when they have to take their blood sugars because they have the diabetes.

Mazel Tov!

Spider Orgy

Today The Mrs., Swedish Falcon, and Professor S the Magnificent, and I went to the park. We were going to walk on a trail but it started to thunder so we just walked around in circles near the main part of the park to avoid getting electrocuted. While we were walking we came across some kind of storage shed which had spiders all over the roof of it. The spiders were all clumped together like they were having some sort of sex orgy. They were all on top of each other and stuck to each other, it was gross. I wonder how they get themselves untangled from that mess once they are finished mating with each other. I have no idea if this is actually how spiders mate or if they were just having some kind of a party. The way they were all tangled together I wonder if they would pull their legs off when they get unstuck, it looked like a game of twister from hell.

We visited Jam Master J, Bumble Bee, and Harris at their house. Harris ignored us as usual, but he is still awesome. He has issues because I made him land on his head when he was a kitten now he has brain damage, but he is cute so it’s okay. We also saw their turtles Paco and Taquito who were taking a bath in their aquarium.

 Harris being cute.

The dingleberry has to get treated for fleas. We have to take off his collar and apply Advantage to the back of his neck. He is going to be naked! Oh no! He’s not going to like getting his flea treatment but it’s for the best because we don’t want fleas infesting our new apartment. Speaking of the apartment, I learned that cats are not allowed in the pool area, there goes my hopes of teaching the dingleberry to swim this summer.