Awkward Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares

While searching for strange sex toys to blog about I came across a sex toy that was shaped like feet, I couldn’t remember if I had blogged about it or not because it looked kind of familiar, but then once I clicked on the picture it brought me directly to one of my old posts located here: http://thedingleberry.net/2011/11/27/more-weird-sex-toys-that-should-never-have-existed/

Guess I shouldn’t reuse that one then.

Anyway, back on topic…

Suction cup shower dildo. I am just kind of baffled on how this thing is supposed to work, you would need to be really flexible and have to be in some strange ass positions to get that thing to work. It just looks like a safety hazard. Also, look how dirty that shower is! I would be afraid of getting mildew in my vagina.

Chin-do. Whenever I see this I think an episode of Workaholics which utilized one of these, I love that show. Anyway, I think the only people who would actually want their partner to wear one of these things on their face are sadists that enjoy making their partners look ridiculous. By the way, I totally need one of these for my Halloween costume.

 

Sex toy tool belt. I am pretty sure that this is just a regular tool belt that somebody loaded up with sex toys, either way it is still pretty awesome. This kind of reminds me of what Batman would wear if he had a utility belt full of penis shaped gadgets that he used against bad guys. This would also be a great idea for my Halloween costume this year.

Love Swing, this is probably the least awkward item on this list except for the fact that you would probably leave this thing hanging in your house and would have try to explain what you are doing with a sex swing hanging from your ceiling, plus how do you wash the stains out of something like that? It would get pretty gross after awhile…

 

Tuggie, it is like a Snuggie for your penis. Would you have to walk around fully torqued all the time to use this thing? And does it come in a size extra small? Just wondering.

 

My little pony flesh lights. I already know how obsessed people are with My Little Pony porn, I get at least 100 views a week for people searching for it! So it is of no surprise that these would exist. But I am not 100% sure if they should be shaped like human vaginas or horse vaginas. Plus they kind of look like little ice cream cones.

 

Whatever this stuffed animal thing is supposed to be. It kind of looks like a bear goatse. But it also kind of looks like Bane’s mask from The Dark Knight Rises, which also looks like goatse.

 

Now try to sit through the movie again without picturing goatse every time Bane appears on screen. Ha ha ha, I just totally ruined that movie for you.